Is my child learning enough?
How can I help her keep up with other kids her age?
Will he fall behind?
These are questions I hear often by mommas who love and want to help teach their child with special needs. I have totally asked these myself!
As a homeshcool mom, I wrestle with this almost daily. My oldest daughter has Trisomy 21, more commonly known as Down syndrome (Ds). This diagnosis generally means that children with Ds will have health deficiencies – both physically and mentally. These kids often move slower and learn slower.
My girl has been blessed with amazing physical health. I used to joke that she was the healthiest in the family since her two younger brothers each suffer from respiratory issues and allergies. Once her baby sister was born though, they are tied for being super healthy girls. Thank you Jesus!!
However, when it comes to learning, my girl needs to go a bit slower than most typical kids.
I have been homeshcooling her since she entered first grade in 2013. I had it in my heart to homeshcool and my husband was 100% on board before we got married. I often share that God knew my girl was in my future, and so He planted homeschooling in my heart for her.
Whether you homeschool or your child attends a brick & mortar school, you need to learn how to teach your child with special needs. We involved momma’s play that key role in helping our kids achieve success in learning.
Do Not Compare
This is one of the hardest traps that us momma’s fall into. When we see other kids that are the same age as our child, we naturally do a little inventory. We might even ask those subtle but less than discreet questions like “So, what level is she reading at?” or “Wow! Has he been speech been getting better?”
We get comparing, and once we do this, we will inevitably find gaps and differences.
The truth is….ALL kids are different….even at the same ages. But, it can be harder when we have a child with special needs to forget this. We are trying hard to find the similarities. We just want the absolute best for our kiddo.
As we participate in teaching our child with special needs to grow in all sorts of areas, it is critical not to compare them with other kids.
Learn with Them
My daughter has taught me more than I teach her, I’m convinced. She is strong, stubborn, and shares the sweetest hugs ever. No matter her challenges, she is daily challenging me to learn right along with her.
I see from her perspective. I learn to slow down. I gain patience and show grace.
When I listen to her needs and really allow her to lead me in how and when she is ready to learn, we both grow.
My girl is an observer by nature. She watched intently as others do all sorts of activities. This is one key way that she learns.
Even when she was learning to walk. As we tried to get her to hold our fingers and take those first steps, I clearly remember how she would quickly lift her feet off the floor. She barely wanted to try to walk. Instead, she was observing. One day, at about 16 months old, she just got up and did it on her own.
When learning to teach your child with special needs, one key thing to watch for is how they learn best. To teach them you need to learn what the learning style is. The top three learning styles are:
- Visual Learner – learns best with seeing information, reading, likes charts, drawing, pictures and maps.
- Auditory Learner – learns best by hearing, discussing, repeating information orally, likes music and being on stage.
- Kinesthetic Learner – leans best with hands on exploring, moving and doing, touching things, writing, experimenting, arts and crafts.
Visual learning is how my girl learns best. I had to learn this to help teach her.
The available resources for homeschooling your child with special needs are off the charts! There are some amazing things out there like HSLDA, Time 4 Learning, and Homeschool.com to provide only a few. Educate yourself and be sure you are informed of what is out there.
You will gain a wealth of knowledge about how to teach, what to teach, and strategies to motivate and encourage your little learner!
When you learn how they learn you become fully equipped to teach your child with special needs. They will accelerate in their learning when you cater to this style best for them.
Follow Their Lead
Like I mentioned in the above section, we need to listen to and watch our child with special needs. Knowing your child’s best learning style will help you to see what they need to learn next and know when they are ready.
Check out this post: 5 Tips to Help Struggling Learners by Using Time Goals
Since I know my daughter is an observer, I have to watch her close and ask reaffirming questions. Following her responses, I can see if she is retaining what she is learning, if she is ready to move on, or ready to repeat.
Following our child is one of the absolute keys to not stressing them out too. If we introduce something too soon or push them too hard, they are likely to shut down and not want to attempt it again.
Writing in cursive is something that I really want my children to learn. I believe it is a valuable skill to be able to read it and write it. When getting ready to introduce it, most of the educators seemed to indicate that 3rd grade was the time to do it.
I figured this would be the best time to get my girl started, along with her younger brother, who is just 14 months younger than her.
Now, her manuscript handwriting was not awesome at this point. But everything I read indicated that cursive was easier. Well, this was NOT the case for my girl!
She was a trooper and definitely tried this “new writing”. However, it completely confused her and her handwriting suffered huge for a bit. Not only was she unable to process these new strokes to create the letters she already knew, she could no longer produce decent manuscript penmanship.
This was one of those times that I had to follow her lead and I pulled cursive from her almost immediately!
Even though my son was able to continue with the curriculum, I watched and saw this was no time to teach my child with special needs cursive handwriting.
When you listen to your child, and really follow their lead, you can keep their confidence up and they will be inspired to continue learning.
Check out this post: 5 Tips to Help Struggling Learners by Using Time Goals
Know When you Need Help
Boy, I hate admitting when I need help. Any stubborn mommas out there with me?? As much as I like to think I can do it all, this momma just cannot. And neither can you! Sorry, but it’s true.
Sometimes the best that you can do in helping teach your child with special needs is to ask for help. This is helping them!!
If you see a large deficiency in your child’s learning, don’t hesitate to research and contact specialists in that area. If it is reading and comprehension, speech, math facts (oh, my girl struggles with math) reach out. Lots of the time I can find great tools and info online.
Many schools also have some terrific resources so advocate, advocate, advocate for your child there. I remember hearing someone say to me:
You never know how hard you can advocate for your child
until you have to do it.
There is lots of great information on advocating for your child available to you. I know you truly want to see them succeed! So don’t be afraid to stand up for them no matter what.
The important thing is to get your child all of the assistance they need to grow and learn exactly as God has designed them. He will give you wisdom in seeking out the best resources.
Get Some Mom Support
As always, Mom Care is top of the list…..not that us mommas keep it at the top as much as we should.
Mom support groups can offer you a fresh perspective. If you don’t already have a strong group of mommas who also have a child with special needs then you need to try and connect with one. These can be tougher to come by. As a mom of a child with special needs, there are so many more challenges to getting out and taking care of ourselves.
One of my absolute favorite ministries is Joni & Friends. This amazing ministry started by Joni Erickson Tada (you must read her story as a paraplegic) is for families of kids with special needs.
Check out this post: 5 Tips to Help Struggling Learners by Using Time Goals
Head to the web or ask your pediatrician for contacts. Pray and ask God to direct you.
Check out this post with 6 Keys for Lonely Moms for additional ideas and encouragement.
I hope these quick tips help put a few new tools in your parenting toolbox!
Having a child with special needs is both challenging and rewarding. When you are invested in helping them learn, you will grow in areas that you never imagined.
How can you apply these tips today to help teach your child with special needs? I would love to hear about your journey in the comments!!
Love,
