6 KEYS FOR LONELY MOMS TO STAY CONNECTED

Do you feel lonely, Momma? Are you in that place where you feel like you are alone on this journey and no one even knows it?  I have so been there!  Through the many seasons of motherhood we moms can experience deep loneliness. 

Here are 6 keys for lonely moms to get out of the loneliness trap and stay connected. 

We need to be intentional about staying connected with others. 

This is where we find HOPE!

So many of us feel lonely because the days are just so long for us. Whether its nursing babies, chasing toddlers while watching hours of “Puppy Dog Pals”, homeschooling multiple little humans, or all of the above, us mommas have full days.

Although we are with our family and the children we love, our hearts still feel lonely.  We crave other adult interaction so greatly that we might even overshare with a total stranger.  I have SO done that at the library or grocery store.  For some reason I think these other people want to know how bananas my life can be.  (sorry sweet lady at the Dollar Tree, thanks for smiling through my story!)  Ha!  

Especially when we have little ones at home who need us for virtually everything, tack on a little bit of sleep deprivation, and even the thought of “adulting” overwhelms.  

Regardless of the season we are in, we can still feel all alone in this journey of raising our kids for Christ. 

Being intentional about staying connected is critical and necessary.   You can do it…some days.  On the days that are hard – shoot that text and reach out that hand for help. 

The keys for lonely moms are 100% doable, even for the tiredest moms!  Get ready to get connected.

1. FIND YOUR TRIBE

Yes, your TRIBE! This is by far the most challenging part of being a mom…finding other like minded moms.   

That is why it is number one of my 6 keys for lonely moms.

Tragically, it is really difficult to maintain daily relationships and friendship with the girls you hung out with before children.  Remember those days – calling your friends up and saying “Hey, let’s hit the mall and do dinner!” Yeah, those memories are pretty far back in my rear view mirror now. 

Ironically, what I learned is that they are still my tribe.  The difference is that now we are ALL moms, running our homes, trying to manage the chaos, and we all feel the loneliness.  The one thing that separates us – the busyness – is also what connects us. 

If you have moved around or just recently left your roots then this can be even harder.  The loneliness of this kind of isolation can be paralyzing. You will need to get our of your comfort zone to find what God has for you right where He put you.

There must be some adjustment but you can totally rock friendships in the craziness of motherhood.  I never talk on the phone anymore with my friends, but shooting someone a quick text when I think of them helps both of us feel connected. 

Pray for your tribe – and tell them when you do.  Better yet, reach out to them when you need prayer, or help.  We can be so stubborn or maybe it’s pride, but reaching out when we need help is NOT a weakness. 

It is a strength to admit we need one another.   

2. CONNECT AT CHURCH GROUPS

This would seem like it can go without being mentioned, but if you attend church, then you have got to see what they have for you!

In my experience, moms sometimes just don’t think of joining a small group at church. You need to get on their website or grab a flyer, and see what your church has for small groups. You will likely find one that fits for you.

When I was a newer mom with two kiddos under 3 years old, the MOPS group at my church was critical. I met every couple of weeks with other moms who were in the same stage as me. They would be doing a crafty thing, but I would just sit and talk while sipping my coffee – no kids hanging off me! There was no judgement. There was just connection.

Today I am still very close to this group of ladies and our kids are friends too.

Maybe a good bible study group at church is what you’re looking for. Depending on your season, you can pray to see if there is some ministry that God would have you serve in. I serve in a few ministries at my local church, which is another passion that connects me.

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Perhaps there is a ladies prayer group or a general one. Prayer groups provide so much more than just connecting with other ladies too. You get to connect with God and recall how He is truly the one who fills your lonely places. At the same time new connections with others can be made as you seek the Lord together.  

If you cannot find a group to join, then consider starting one. Moms could be looking for you.  You can also share with them the 6 keys for lonely moms. *wink wink*

3. FIND A BABYSITTER

If you do not have family around where you can count on them to help out with your little humans then find a babysitter.  This is not as easy to do as it was in days past.  Between finding responsible young girls who want to care for your kids and the technology that distracts them, it can be tough.  But having a babysitter that you can call on to get out for a break and meet a friend for coffee is huge!  

There are some reputable online companies that provide services these days like Care.com.  If you’re like me though, I really prefer to get personal references.  I have been totally blessed too, to find some gems.  Pray for God to direct you to a teen at church or in the neighborhood that you can get to know.

Handing our precious kids over to others to care for them can be hard.  Getting out of the house with your spouse or girlfriend though is healthy for your soul.  Trust that Jesus will provide and get your eyes looking around for that babysitter.

4. ENJOY YOUR HOBBIES

I know, who has hobbies when you’re a mom? Have you seen those fun memes that say things like:

“My hobbies include going to the bathroom alone.”

Although that can be true in the day to day, we all have things we enjoy doing. Hobbies that make us happy.

Having hobbies and other outlets outside of the home is definitely key in avoiding loneliness. You have to be a bit more intentional and plan for this, but get online and find a class or group you can join. There are so many groups out there since us moms are looking for that connection.

If you like art – take a ceramics class. Love reading (YAY, you’re in my tribe) find a book club to connect at. There are sewing and knitting classes, cooking classes, and tons more as you look at the web. For me, I use this bloggy thing to help me feel connected too by joining online communities of like minded women.

A great hobby for many is exercise. I am not a big fan of gyms, Lord knows that I have wasted a small fortune on gym memberships – ugh! But ask me to go for a walk and I will do all I can to get there.

If you love the gym, join a great spin or yoga class. It is a great opportunity to connect with other women. Prefer walking like me? Then call a friend and meet them in a good walking spot. Littles in a stroller works with this too since you can grab an iced coffee and a snack then get walking.

We are beginner hikers and love to get our whole family out there. [Read more about that here] Friends that have kids and like to get out into nature too are perfect to invite. Yes, conversation is not the same when the kids are in tow, but I just love walking with a friend and catching up on our lives.

5. START A MONTHLY MOMS NIGHT OUT

This is totally a bonus for moms! To get a night out with other moms and no kids is really a treat. It also requires being very intentional though. Someone has to be coordinator, and as hard as it is to get a date and time that works for everyone, you have to just pick one and go with it.

Getting a MNO on the calendar can be the hardest part.  So Just Do IT!

I have been part of several different groups of mom friends that do a monthly MNO. It is usually something I look forward to, and I’m disappointed when I can’t make it.

Low key is usually best, and it is less pressure when one mom need to arrive late. This can be a great opportunity to invite other moms also that don’t have a tribe yet. It is social and a good time to connect.

6. HOMESCHOOL CO-OP PROGRAMS

This final key of the 6 keys for lonely moms is really for you AND your kids to connect.  If you are a crazy homeschooler like me, most of us know the value of being involved in a homeshcool coop program.  Again, this is good for our kids since they need to connect with friends, get a little break from home and siblings, and experience larger group learning.  But for us Momma’s homeschool coop is a total gold mine!! 

We have the opportunity to connect with and commiserate with like minded moms in  the thick of it with us. It gives us a chance to talk about our kids and how they are learning – or not learning. Oftentimes, we end up realizing how “in the same boat” most of us really are. That type of kinship helps us to simply nod our heads and say “OK, I am not the only mom who feels like I am messing up my kids” At least that is what goes through my head.

We took a brief session one year where we did not participate in a coop. Once Christmas hit I knew full well that this was not good for any of us. Both me and my kids felt the lack of connection when not part of a homeschool community.

Fortunately, I new the director of our local Classical Conversations coop program and during Christmas break I was able to get in. This was our introduction to CC and we have not looked back since.

No matter what type of coop you feel led to join, and no matter how many times a month you meet, the community will help you to connect and fellowship outside of the home.