Best Ways to Discipline and Train Your Children in God’s Love

To “discipline” means to “train” or “disciple”, and there are so many ways you can discipline and train your children in God’s love daily.

This can feel like the most exhausting task of my day….training my little people! Here are a few of the best ways to handle the daily work of discipline and training.

“Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
–Proverbs 22:6

Have you ever asked one of your kids to get their shoes on (it’s always shoes, right?) and you need to repeat it like 384 times?? Oh, Lord, give me the patience to train and disciple my kids!! Amen??

One of the hardest parts of parenting is disciplining our children when they outright misbehave. We want our children to behave well, but they are sinners just like us. We need to teach them that, as sinners, they need Gods to help to behave like a little Christians, or disciples, and we must point them to Christ.

Here are just a few verses from www.AnswersinGenesis.org on Disciplining Children God’s Way that tells us why it is of great value to discipline and train our children:

Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul. (Proverbs 29:17)
Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him. (Proverbs 22:15)
Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction. Proverbs 19:18)

The key to effective discipline is to mold the child from the inside out – change the hearts of our children and not just the behavior. Focus on the Lesson you want to teach your child. Positive Parenting Solutions states here “The goal of discipline is a long-term objective.“

This is something I really try to maintain as my perspective in disciplining and training my children —— it is a process. Like the verse above from Proverbs implies, the training we do today will direct them when they are older. Long-term objectives!!!

This can be tough to internalize in our “have it immediately” culture, but if we stay the course, hold our own attitudes in check, then we will see fruit in our children.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”
– Galatians 6:9

So let’s not “give up”, momma!!! Let us stay the course to do good by loving, training, and disciplining our little ones for Jesus.

Disciplining in God’s Love

It is easy to hand out punishment for wrong behavior, but we need to take the opportunity to teach, train, and help your child grow. Here are simple keys to remember when you discipline and train your children.

Discipline in love, not anger.
– Speak firm rather than yell. Be caring and respectful toward your child – isn’t that how we want them to act? Let’s be an example.
– Mean what you say and don’t lash out and give unreasonable punishments. I have been that mom that tells my child you won’t go outside for a month….ugh!!
Be Consistent with punishment.
Like the above one states – mean what you say….then follow through.
Set expectations for actions that will result in the discipline before the offense. Let them know what the consequence for name-calling is (I put vinegar on their tongue), or implement 3 strike rules.
Pray with the child after discipline. Teaching them the skill of prayer is critical. You can start by leading them in a small prayer of repentance and reconciliation like this one:
“Lord, I am sorry. Forgive me for ______. I love [You, mommy, daddy, sister, brother]. Please help me be better in the future. In Jesus Name, Amen.”
Teach a proper fear/respect for the Lord. That they want to obey because it is the right thing to do and not just to avoid consequences.
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” – Psalm 111:10
Shepherd the heart of your child – Gospel message needs to be brought alive for them. Remind them we all make mistakes (even mommy) and that failure can lead to success if we learn from them.
“He who walks with the wise becomes wise.” Proverbs 13:20

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If we want our children to respect and serve God as they grow, then we need to show Christ’s love to them by disciplining and training them in love. Forgiveness, patience, and our prayers will help them mature into Christian men and women who can show love to others.

Be the Best You

As Moms, we have our own self-care needs. You must remember that your job to discipline and train your children is not at the expense of your own heart. Here are a few tips to keep you on track and to remind you that “You’ve got this!!”

Related Post: 9 Powerful Verses on God’s Love for You

Be Encouraged – Talk to a POSITIVE friend or mentor. We all feel overwhelmed, discouraged, like failures, and frazzled at times. Having someone who is an encourager to talk to is key to reminding us WHY we do what we do and LOVE our children.
Be patient – even as you grit your teeth and hide in the bathroom, we need to hang in there and patiently wait for God to do the transforming work in us and our kids. He is so patient with us and will give us the grace to train, correct, and direct our children.
Be Discerning – Be sure you know the whole situation when multiple kids involved. Consider different personalities, whose tired (you or your child), and remember that kids have bad days too.
Be Prayerful – PRAY, Pray, pray!! We constantly need God’s wisdom and guidance for each situation. Seasons are different, children are different, and we need to be mindful before we approach our kids. We also need to be full of Jesus so that we can be His hands and feet to our little ones. Grab THIS PRAYER to start your day!!

Book List for Biblical Discipline

God’s Word does contain all that we need to train and disciple our children. That said, who doesn’t enjoy a good read from an author with experience? Below is a brief book list. These are by well-known authors like Dr. James Dobson, Dr. Kevin Leman, and Lisa Welchel plus others.