Connect With Your Child When You Feel Weak

“When I am weak, then I am strong.” – 2 Corinthians 12:10

We must connect with our child even when we feel weak and not equipped Jesus will provide the grace. Even when we feel like we don’t know what to say or how to say it. He meets us while also meeting our kids.

We know the value of slowing down to really get on their level, but sometimes it is hard to connect with our child, or the different personalities of multiple children. As we are growing and changing, it’s important to remember that these little humans are growing and changing too.

Discipling our children is different than telling them what to do and what not to do. It’s allowing God to work in them and I the situation so that our child matures.

These are times when we stop trusting in ourselves and ask for God’s grace in our words and actions. These moments can be so amazing and really bond us to our kid’s hearts building the relationship.

Pray First

Lately I have been praying about how to connect with my oldest son. He is the second born child but first son, and his older sister has Down syndrome. He deals with some things that most boys his age never need to.

He is also super sensitive like his daddy! He’s the kid who comes home from a baseball game and cries when telling me about how his friend got hit with a ball in the face by a pitch.

He is also the kid who takes many things personally, like correction, or is very hard on himself when he makes a mistake – ahhhhh, perfectionist? I, on the other hand am not highly sensitive or emotional and I truly have to work at being compassionate and empathetic. This is why I believe this big guy is my son, to help me grow in compassion and sensitivity.

Recently I have noticed my son being a bit more disrespectful to his Dad and me. Like when you ask your kid to stop doing something, they reply “Ok”, and then keep doing it – well, that’s been my boy lately.

Correction is Needed

While outside playing baseball with his brother today, my husband noticed that they were using a bat and ball set I had asked them not to use in the yard so they don’t damage anything (they snapped one of the balusters on the deck last week).

So he corrected them by reminding them to stop hitting the hard baseball. My big guy replied with the standard of late: “Ok” and proceeded to hit the ball to his little brother with the bat anyway. Total defiance!! This made my hubs super mad. So he called out our son, he got mad and stormed into the house and up to his room.

Now – to pause a sec – this is a behavior that two of my kids like to do…..it drives me nuts. They misbehave, they get corrected, they get mad, and they storm off. I am praying through this for some serious Jesus wisdom because I like to storm up after them and explain to them quite loudly how they better think about their actions. When I do that, my behavior is seriously no better!! To be continued…..

Back to the incident. My husband came in and explained what had occurred. He was on his way to an appointment so I would be left to speak to whole deal. I really had no clue what to do or say that I had not already tried with no impact.

I prayed. Again.

I recognized my weakness in not knowing how to best handle this gently with my son so that he would begin to understand why his behavior was frustrating to both of us.

I prayed more.

Repentance Comes

When my son came down and apologized I hugged him and I began to tell him how much I loved him and that I really see God at work in his life. I shared with him how when we struggle in a certain area that those are often the times when God is doing a little work in us to help us grow.

We talked about options that he has when he wants to talk back or disobey and to pause before speaking or acting. He confessed how he wants to try harder but it’s hard and I got to encourage him not to give up but to pray for God’s help….that Jesus would be ready to lend him a hand.

After our chat, my son was smiling and not feeling condemned and he did have a better attitude through the rest of the day. I felt pretty humbled since I knew the words were a gift and an answer to my prayers.

I am blessed to feel like I got it right I this situation and I know I will mess up again. This was my win only in the sense that I saw my weakness. Jesus was shown strong in how I handled it and me and my boy connected when there could have been hurt feelings.

Now if I can only hang on to this lesson for ME and really depend on God in more circumstances like this, this parenting gig would be a bit easier!

Have you been connecting with your child when you feel weak? I would love to have you share about it.