Have you ever considered how valuable your friendships are? Like that bestie you can call when you have had a crummy “mom-day” and she will just listen with no judgement and totally get you? That is pure GOLD!
Just like you value deep friendships, there are amazing benefits of fostering strong and healthy kid friendships for your children too!
It’s not that easy as momma’s to make new friendships, and sometimes we get lonely, but we know when we have a great friend at our side to do life with. Making friends is a life skill that we sometimes overlook.
I love that phrase — “It takes a long time to grow an old friend”
How you make friends and foster those relationships will demonstrate to your children their importance.
Full disclosure — I have not always been a great friend. It kind of stinks too because I wish I was better at this whole thing. I love my girlfriends, but often life and time just seem to escape me. Then, before I know it, it’s been far tooooo long since I connected with a dear friend.
What is a Healthy Kid Friendship
Strong and healthy kid friendships might look a little different than one of your friendships. When a young child meets another child on the playground they often begin to play like old friends. They don’t see age, or color, or even clothing.
Young kids just want to imagine and explore together.
As they get a little older and into elementary school age, they become more aware of their own likes and tendencies. Some love active play, others enjoy digging for bugs, some prefer to sit with a good book. They begin forming strong friendships around their common interests.
When humans bond as friends there are usually some unspoken rules and expectations. It makes it easy to fall short in these areas without meaning to.
Our role as parents is to help our children understand the “Golden Rule” as it pertains to strong and healthy kid friendships. Treating others the way that they want to be treated is simple – yet not always easy to apply.
Kindness and selflessness does help to grow healthy friendships!
Sharing, speaking kindly, being patient, empathy, and compromising are all part of a healthy kid friendship. These are skills we teach by modelling them to our kids in the way that we parent. No guilt now, momma. We are in need of Christ more than ever when it comes to training our kids in these life skills. Lean on Him to fill in the gaps of lack for you. He is sure to give you the guidance and wisdom here!!
As an example, I was not created with a great deal of compassion. However, my husband and both my sons are very sensitive. There have been times where I have responded harshly when they really need me to show compassion. God uses this to help me grow.
You want your kids to enjoy their friends and even be an example of what a good friend looks like. Teaching these skills will equip them!
Importance of Healthy Kid Friendships
When children have healthy friendships they gain a great sense of security and confidence.
In this article on Life Education they share how forming friendships helps our kids develop their own identity. They also say that healthy friendships have both physical and emotional benefits.
Kids learn that there is value in sharing in the idea’s and imagination of peers. They also get to share life experiences with them that can expand their growth emotionally and socially.
As our kids grow into the preteen and teenage years, one of the key skills I see that I need Christ’s help to teach them is listening, The skill of listening is off the charts valuable if you ask me! When we pause to hear the heart of others, we can respond with kindness and wisdom – even if we disagree. A huge part in today’s world is being able to listen to others opinions and ideas, and not lose the friendship over differences.
Through healthy friendship experiences, our kids will also be able to recognize unhealthy friendships. Having Godly friendships is beneficial for them to navigate their faith as they grow.
Paul warns us in 1 Corinthians 15:33 that “bad company corrupts good character” so teaching our kids the importance of healthy kid friendships should enable them to identify “bad company.”
How to be a Good Friend
Like I mentioned a little already, part of fostering strong and healthy friendships for your kids is teaching them be a good friend. These skills are not always as obvious as we think. If you have a large family then you may be used to teaching sharing and you’re coaching the kids in kindness. Still much of this is does not come naturally and requires guidance on our part.
Once your kids begin making friends beyond your setting up playgroup meetups they need some friendship skills. Some of these include:
- Compromising on what to do together
- Listening when a friend is in need
- Celebrating a friends achievements – academic or other
- Forgiving and apologizing
- Standing firm on Godly convictions (not allowing peer pressure)
Again, it is the “Golden Rule” of treating others the way we want to be treated. Applying it to being a good friend will go a long way in creating strong and healthy kid friendships that last.
Where to Make Friends
Lots of friendships occur organically as you watch your children interacting with others. On the play ground at early ages you can see that they might gravitate toward certain personalities. If your child is a leader, then you might see some kids follow them. Likewise, if your child is more shy, then he might be encouraged by a child with a more outgoing personality.
You can begin fostering healthy kid friendships by putting them in places where they simply have a common interest with others.
Kids that love sports or gymnastics, music or art, STEM or nature, can be enrolled in organized groups where they will meet other kids. Here the kids will already have a common interest! They will be likely to find friends in these opportunities. This will also begin to teach your kids how to make friends.
Here are some additional ideas where you can continue fostering healthy friendships for your kids:
- School/Homeschool Coop Friends
- Church
- Play Dates
- Sports & Activities
- Boys & Girl Clubs
- Nature Programs
While you watch your child, you will see other interests emerge too. This will give you ideas of how to help them find kids whose interests line up. Having similar passions and interests will continue naturally to give kids a common connection that they can share.
You hold the keys, momma, to equipping your children. The benefits of fostering strong and healthy kid friendships is worth the effort and prayer you will put into it. When we value friendship, they will see it has a key part of growth and a part of life that God desires we enjoy fully!!!
Best,
Here are some great resources you can use to foster strong and healthy kid friendships:
